Seabiscuit: A Lesson In Thinking Outside the Box

Set in the 1930s during the Great Depression, Seabiscuit is the true story of three unlikely men who come together to ultimately mold a champion. Tom Smith, a wild mustang breaker, is watching his way of life vanish before his eyes, as the young United States of America becomes increasingly more populous and developed. Charles Howard, the eventual owner of Seabiscuit, is devastated over the loss of his only son, which ultimately leads to a divorce.  Johnny “Red” Pollard (the jockey) was blind in his right-eye.

Charles Howard is looking to fill the void left by the loss of his son; he ultimately finds it in a new marriage and in a forgotten love of horses. Howard is a man of means and a visionary who has the ability to see past the situation that is currently in front of him. Little wonder then, that Howard’s mantra is “The Future.” (In an ironic twist, Howard predicted the automobile age but then regressed and bought horses).

Tom Smith had an uncanny ability with horses. A true “horse whisperer,” he could see past defects in horses. In the movie, Howard meets Smith when he is literally living in the bushes, nursing a horse with an injured leg. Everyone told Howard that Smith is a “crackpot,” but that doesn’t deter Howard. He approaches Smith anyway and engages him in conversation. Howard asks Smith about his injured horse and why he would expend the effort to save him. Smith responds, “Most people would just put them [the horse] down. You don’t throw a whole life away just because it’s banged up a little.” This is the pivotal line that sets up the rest of the movie!

Eventually Howard invites Smith to work for him and train horses. Most people would’ve gone straight to a reputable trainer, rather than hire a no-name who was living in the bushes! Howard took a big chance by hiring an unknown, unproven “crackpot” as his trainer. This fact alone attests to Howard’s ability to think outside the box and see potential beyond the current situation.

When they are looking for horses, Smith tells Howard:  “You have to find a horse with heart. It’s not just the speed, you have to find a horse that not afraid to compete or run from a fight.” Smith ultimately finds Seabiscuit. The horse itself was an unlikely champion because it was small (15 hands). At the time, champions were large, sleek, and without imperfection. That was the model. Most buyers would’ve overlooked Seabiscuit (and did), but Smith could look deeper, and knew the horse had heart, and spirit.

Before Howard bought him, Seabiscuit had been mistreated, and was originally used as a training partner to other horses, forced to lose so the other horses could win. When Seabiscuit did finally race, he did just what he was trained to do – lose – and the horse became resentful because of it. Smith pairs the angry horse with an angry young jockey, Red Pollard. Red was angry and beaten down because he was abandoned as a child during the Great Depression. Smith realizes that Red has some growing to do as a person but sees his potential.

Smith’s training techniques were the epitome of thinking outside the box. To quiet the angry horse, he placed other “barn” animals such as goats, cats, and even another horse inside Seabiscuit’s stall for companionship. These animals traveled with Seabiscuit wherever the horse raced, to provide a sense of calm, comfort, stability, and “sameness” regardless of where they went. Couldn’t we all use a little of that in our lives!?

Another theme prevalent throughout the movie is second chances.  Give people a second chance, an opportunity. Charles Howard gave Tom Smith a second chance, who in turn, gave Red Pollard a second chance. Howard also learns from Smith. When Red Pollard loses a race because another horse sneaks up on his right side at the last second and pulls ahead to win, Pollard is forced to admit for the first time that he is blind in his right eye. Smith is incensed at Pollard. After this incident, Charles Howard uses Smith’s own reasoning against him. Instead of firing Red, he keeps him and says to Smith, “It’s okay Tom. You don’t throw a whole life away just because it’s banged up a little.” Finally there’s the horse itself. Branded a loser, Seabiscuit was also given a second chance when he was purchased by a new owner who could see his potential. Seabiscuit went on to become a great champion.

Given all the things that the horse and these 3 characters accomplished, there are many lessons to be learned from this story. There is no realization of goals without struggle, defeat, or failure. Nothing worth accomplishing in life is easy.

Now I ask you:

What lessons from Seabiscuit apply to our business? One that I can think of is not everything is as it appears to be, or “don’t judge a book by its cover.” After what he accomplished, would anyone still think that Tom Smith is a crackpot?

I know it sounds cliche, but can you “think outside the box”?

Perhaps somebody who is unknown is the next rising star? Would you, like Howard, have the ability to see beyond the current situation to see their potential?

Seabiscuit had heart. How bad do you want to win? What’s in your heart?

Are you afraid to step-out and compete? What’s holding you back?

I would love to hear from you, especially if you are a fan of this movie!

What does it take to be #1?

The last two of my posts have explored the correlations between criticism and jealousy (and why people hate and/or are jealous of #1). The final post in this series will explore the qualities that it takes to actually be number #1! The answer may surprise you, as some of those include . . . .

People who are the best at what they do often possess a combination of qualities. It is not always exceptional talent and skill, although that certainly helps! First off, they know exactly what they want and they go after it. They have an almost single-minded determination to get there. For those of us who have never quite figured out “what we want to do when we grow up,” or are good at a lot of things (making it difficult to choose just one!), this can be difficult to comprehend.

In his book “Open,” Andre Agassi talks about never wavering in pursuit of a goal. If you followed Agassi’s career or tennis at all, you know that he had a few distractions of his own before becoming one of the greatest tennis players of all time. He is one of only two tennis players in the world to have won a Career Golden Slam (all 4 major tournaments plus an Olympic Gold Medal). Because he hated tennis (one of the surprising revelations from his book), he thought about quitting many times. In fact, it would’ve been easy for him to quit but ultimately he did not, which speaks to persistence.

In sports, competitive athletes are also aggressive. They have to be in order to win. Think about the personalities of Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, and John McEnroe. In his book, “You Cannot be Serious,” McEnroe says “Everyone wants us to be nice, but we’re competitive athletes. We are not nice people.” (What I want to know is, is nastiness also a requirement to be a champion? In Agassi and Roger Federer’s case, I would say the answer is “no”).

Aggression and a need to dominate are required in order to win. It is almost a predator/prey relationship. “When somebody has something you want, you make them the enemy” [so you can take it]. This is a famous line from Avatar. This philosophy is what makes #1 a target! (see my blog post from 1/15/2011). Competitive athletes are also continually learning and improving. They invest in themselves and learn more than others, and which gives them a competitive edge.

Politics is also about winning. Aggressive people can’t let other people get what they want, and therefore they will do anything to win, especially once they have a taste of victory. Most people who were brought up in the United States were taught that a democracy is supposed to be representative of the people’s wishes. But many times elected officials pursue their own agenda once they are in office. With this in mind, do politics and a democracy seem like they are a good match? I once heard someone ask, “Are you too nice for politics?” Now I finally understand that question! In other words, do you have the stomach required to be in constant conflict?

In summary:

If you want something, go out and take it. Who is going to stop you? Yourself? If you don’t do it, then somebody else will. Don’t ever quit. Winning takes a mixture of talent, determination, persistence, aggression, and continual learning (how can you do something better?). Recognize and excel at your strengths, but also improve your weaknesses. If you are good at something, you have a better opportunity to win!

Now I ask you:

Have you ever experienced any of the above?

Have you single-mindedly pursued a goal?

Have you been the target of someone else’s aggression?

If so I would love to hear about it!

3 Critical Keys to Criticism

Don’t you hate it when you’ve worked really hard on something and all anybody else can do is criticize it? Or point out the faults in your plan? For some reason, most people immediately point out what’s wrong with something, rather than what’s good about it.

Whatever it is that you are trying to do, you will always have negative people, naysayers, and critics who will tell you it can’t be done or that you won’t succeed. It may help to know that the criticism is often more about the other person (there’s that jealousy factor again), than it is about you.

I remember an incident many years ago now when I was just learning how to take pictures with digital cameras. The technique required is different from film, because it goes something like this:  click click click delete! So you can afford to take more photos in pursuit of that perfect shot!

I was so proud of myself because I had taken a photo of my beautiful niece, and then printed it out directly from the digital camera (leaving no opportunity to edit the photo on the computer). My neighbor came over and immediately said “You need to take the red eye out of the photo!” I felt like a deflated balloon. A better approach would’ve been for him to say, “That’s a really beautiful photo, I can show you how to remove the red-eye, which will make it even better!” Now that statement would’ve made me perk up!

(Point #1) See the difference? The difference is in the approach. When you frontload the message by validating what the other person has accomplished, said, or done, then the other person is more receptive to what you have to say after that and that makes the criticism easier to receive. Not all criticism is bad – in fact constructive criticism can be very revealing and help you grow as long as it’s phrased properly.

It’s very easy to criticize other people. What’s harder is to get up there and do a better job, or find something nice to say instead. Many times people who criticize someone or something else don’t have any real credibility themselves. Sometimes they are jealous of the other person and wish that they were in their place (goes back to “why do certain people hate #1” – yesterday’s post).

(Point #2) On the other hand, good leaders recognize and take advantage of the skills, strengths, and abilities of others. They are more secure with who they are so they are not jealous. Rather they recognize what others have to offer. Successful companies (and nations) are not built by just one person. Most companies have a team of smart, talented people who work together to implement a vision and accomplish great things.

(Point #3) When you pursue your dreams or an opportunity, don’t allow other people to throw you off course. Surround yourself with people who will build you up and/or support you as you pursue your dreams. Hire a supportive mentor or coach. Nobody ever got to where they wanted to go by themselves! My Dad, who is 79 years old, always told me “It’s the things in life you don’t do that you end up regretting the most.’ To this I add “even if they don’t work out.”

Now I would love to hear from you:

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

How do you handle criticism? As the giver, as the receiver?

Do you notice how other people phrase things when they talk (ie. frontloading the message)?

Jealousy is an Ugly Emotion!

Why do we hate #1? In other words, why do some people dislike or even hate people who are more successful than they are? Do they want to be in their place instead? There are two possibilities:  1) either they are jealous, or . . .

2) They believe that that other person does not deserve to be where they are (in the top spot). Let’s look at both situations.

If you are #1 in a sport, chances are that someone else wants to knock you off and take your place. You essentially become a target. You have something that other people want or aspire to be.

An elegant and graceful player, Roger Federer is so good at tennis that he makes it look easy (it’s not)! Federer won many tournaments and was ranked #1 in tennis for 237 weeks. In 2007, there was a heated battle for the Wimbledon Championship between him and Raphael Nadal, a strong up-and-coming player. Federer won that year, but the next year, Nadal won it, taking over the top position in tennis.

The bigger and more successful you are, the bigger the bullseye! That’s one reason that it seems that the rest of the world wants to tear down the USA. The United States has been the most powerful nation in the world for most of the 20^th century. Other nations want to take our place in the top spot!

Controversial and opinionated, Dr. Laura was #1 on the radio for many years. Then Sean Hannity started his national show in 2001, and over the course of the next 4-5 years, he knocked her out of her coveted afternoon time slot. I heard recently that she is giving up her show entirely. In the movie “Up Close and Personal” Michelle Pfeiffer’s character is a news reporter who works her way up the ladder and eventually replaces the much revered long-time TV anchor played by Stockard Channing. This is a pivotal moment in the movie and in Pfeiffer’s character’s career.

Don’t be afraid to pursue your dreams. Times change. People’s tastes change. In every industry or profession, the person (or company) on top today was once a newcomer (Wal-Mart overtakes Sears). There is a time when someone comes along and does better than the person on top. Perhaps that person is more ambitious, a better player, more adaptable, hungrier for success, or can overpower an opponent.

So why do some people hate the best? Jealousy is an ugly emotion. Why are some people jealous of other people’s accomplishments? I mean there are some people who hate Oprah! One answer is that people who are insecure in themselves try to find fault with others (rather than be supportive or happy for them) and/or don’t want others to outshine them. Others don’t believe that the person on top deserves to be there.

Once, I was teaching a class, and I had to help a woman with an exercise on the computer. I could tell by her body language that she was annoyed that I had to help her. She looked at me and said rather haughtily, “I have a Ph.D. in this!” To which I thought (but didn’t say), “If that’s true, then why don’t you know how to work this exercise?” I had a feeling that she felt she should be teaching the class instead of me, even though I had my own credentials.

I would like to know if anybody reading this has had a similar experience. Can you come up with other examples?

Was somebody jealous of you and wanted to see you gone (in office politics, or sports, etc.)?

Were you in the #1 spot and someone came along and bumped you off? How did you handle it? Were you prepared for it?

I would love to know! Let me hear from you!

Businesses Invest in New Technology, Training, and Systems, Shouldn’t You?

What are you going to invest in yourself this year? Some of my clients are beginning to spend money on new technology and equipment for 2011. This is a good sign! Some of the investments include an overhaul of websites (redesigning them for a fresh new look; adding functionality), purchasing new computers, servers and other equipment, and investing in new software and employee training! How does this apply to you?

If you are a sole proprietor (solopreneur), then you are your own business! You must invest in yourself. What are you going to do to upgrade or improve your “systems” this year? Are you going to invest in your business by upgrading your equipment (buying a new computer)? How about updating your website? Are you going to invest in “employee” training by attending seminars?

With the explosion of tele-seminars (seminars led by a live person over a conference call), there is so much you can learn for little or no cost. Most of these “tele-seminars” are free; the hosts typically sell something at the end of the call, which you are under no obligation to buy. So get what you can from the free training; some of it is very good! Of course, there is no shortage of live seminars to attend either. If you subscribe to anybody’s e-zines you know you have plenty of live classes to choose from.

Different people learn differently, so give people information in a way that they can receive it. I have found that the online training works very well for the “under 40” crowd. Anyone older than that typically prefers live in-person classes or workshops. Some people are visual (they have to see it!), while others have to hear what you say. Some people are task-oriented, others are people-oriented. No matter how you learn, it is important that you constantly learn new things and apply them to your business.

One thing people who are wealthy have in common is that they invest in themselves first. They read constantly and invest in lifelong, continual learning*. Not only that, they apply that knowledge in their lives to keep from getting stagnant, and also in their businesses, which leads to innovation. If you read my blog post from January 8^th titled “Innovation in Business” and/or my free report “The Top 10 Mistakes that New Entrepreneurs Make” on my website (www.fulltimewoman.com) then you know the importance of innovation!

So now I ask you:

What will you spend money on in the new year?

Have you seen any signs of an economic recovery in your geographic area? If so, what?

Are you working on anything innovating?

*Note: There are 3 habits that wealthy people do consistently in order to become wealthy. Lifelong learning is one of them. If you want to know the other two post a comment on my Facebook Fan Page (The Full-Time Woman’s Coach) and I will respond.

Super Easy Delicious Beer Bread

Mmm . . . warm bread on a cold winter day! The name says it all! This is really a life saver when you forget to crank up the bread machine and then suddenly you realize that it’s already time for dinner!

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 T baking powder

1/4 t salt

(Note:  2 1/4 cups self-rising flour can be substituted for the above 3 ingredients)

3 T sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 bottle beer

2 T melted butter

Preheat oven to 400. Spray an 8 1/2 X 4 1/2 inch loaf pan with non-stick cooking spray.

In a large bowl, mix all dry ingredients. Pour in beer and melted butter. Mix together until batter is moistened. Spread evenly in loaf pan. Bake for 45 minutes. Presto!

Note: Any kind of beer works well in this recipe, however, I have found that a dark lager such as a “bock” gives the most full flavor in the bread. In Texas we have a wonderful beer called “Shiner Bock” that I prefer to use to make this bread. (Die hard Shiner Bock fans would be aghast that I am eating this beer rather than drinking it!).

5 Reasons Why Now is the Best Time to Start a New Business

5 Reasons Why Now is the Best Time to Start a New Business

The Great Recession might be a dark cloud that actually has a silver lining for women who want to be their own bosses. Many women who work in Corporate America dream of starting their own business but are afraid to leave. Other women who are stuck at the highest levels of their careers and have hit the glass ceiling wonder when they can be their own bosses. Now is the time.

Here are the reasons why:

1) Many people are getting severance packages as a result of being laid off, or unemployment benefits due to the recession. They can use that money to finance their own business. Getting fired or laid off could actually be a blessing in disguise.

2) For women who are still working in a corporate job, there has never been a better time to leave. Hiring an experienced coach or mentor to talk you through the process can alleviate some of the fear of leaving a high-paying job. Coaching is a growing field, and more people know what it is and are  open to it. Coaches provide encouragement, support, and guidance.

3) Your existing network may provide you with your first client. Even if you are going through a career change, don’t assume you can’t use your existing network from your former career field. They already know you and some of them may have needs in your new career field. They might be doing things that you are not aware of and they might need to hire you.

4) Professional Development. With an online learning, webinars, and all kinds of choices and access to continuing education, there is no excuse for not going out on your own “because you don’t have skills in a certain area.” Identify your existing skills. Take a class in areas where you are weak so you can become the best you can be. In this day and age, it’s easier than ever to brush up on your skills.

5) Clients need what you have to offer! Your skills are unique. A good business is created in response to a need in the marketplace. Pay attention to what people are talking about and asking for. What is their greatest need? Do you have skills that can help them fulfill that need? Then there is business out there for you!

To find out more go to:
http://classic.cnbc.com/id/41036893

The Generation Gap and How it Relates to “High-Tech, High-Touch”

Sometime in the 1990s I was watching Jeopardy, and the “answer” was “Moonwalk:  The title of this person’s autobiography”.  Who do you think it was? At the time, the contestant, an “older” gentleman (perhaps he was in his 60s) answered “Who is Neil Armstrong?” The actual answer was  . . . “Who is Michael Jackson”?

Ah the generation gap . . . an appropriately named phenomenon for describing the difference in the way people from different generations think. It’s not something that you  fully understand or perhaps even appreciate until you get a little older.

What causes a generation gap? People of different ages, who were brought up in different eras (say 10 – 20 years apart), and thus are exposed to different environments, different styles of learning, different attitudes, different technology and ways of doing things.

Demographers study demographics – trends and people.  In yesterday’s post I covered how marketers use demographics in targeted marketing. Today I want to examine a few trends among different age groups.

As an instructor of seminars and workshops, I see the generation gap in action every day. People who attend the classes I teach range in age from young college graduates to people over the age of 50. In general, people over the age of 40 prefer live instructor-led classes (high-touch), but anyone younger than that almost unanimously prefers web-based online training (high-tech). And talk about multi-tasking, when they are forced to attend a live training class, most of them sit in the back and play on the computers, their Blackberry, Smartphones, iPods, etc.

Young people coming out of school today are accustomed to technology and computers, and most likely the exams they took in school were entirely electronic (on the computer) and no paper was used at all. But what does this immersion in technology do to their verbal communication skills? Do young people know how to read and write? Do they know how to communicate? Do they relate well to other people (my experience is “not always”!)?

Last night I attended a meeting of the Houston Coaches group. The presenter was over 5o, and a highly respected coach who has been coaching for over 20 years (before coaching was widely known as a profession). I was surprised to hear him say that he did all of his coaching in-person, and that’s that what he preferred. What a contrast, because today, all new coaches are taught to coach entirely over the phone. Again, an example of the generation gap.

So now I ask you:

What do you notice, in terms of how things are done differently today, from how you did them?

How about your kids? (I am sure there will be a lot of comments here!) Why do they so easily, almost instinctively, know how to use technology?

What do you prefer? Email, phone (high-tech) or in-person (high-touch) communication?

3 Things You May Not Know About Facebook

Ever wonder why you’re required to input your birthday in order to setup a Facebook account? Although I am new to Facebook, I find it an extremely useful tool. The concept of making it a free service that everyone wants to use, but yet behind the scenes, tracking and then harvesting user demographic information is brilliant!

Tracking demographic information is not a new idea. Marketers and retailers have been doing this since the beginning of time. You can bet that McDonald’s, Home Depot, Taco Bell, Sears, Talbots and other high-end clothing stores know exactly who their ideal customers are. That’s why they build stores in certain areas. Typically they know a lot about the people who shop at their stores:  age, gender, annual income, number in family, zip code (aha!) where they live, and type of magazines read, etc. That way they can place ads or coupons in certain flyers, newspapers, or magazines, or simply do a blanket mailing to a specific zip code.

Facebook is doing the same thing electronically. They are building a huge database of all users – their “likes” (aha!), interests, and who they associate with online. Believe me, they know a lot about you. This information is extremely valuable for targeting ads (vis a vis Google and Amazon). Also, did you know that most mail-order catalogs and non-profit organizations make almost as much or sometimes more money from selling their customer/donor lists than they do through product sales? Think about that for a minute and then apply that concept to Facebook. But yet we still use it! Why? We like it!

In addition to the above, here are a couple of tips about Facebook that I thought I would share:

1)      Do you have a “friend” who is “hogging” your News Feed? Does it seem like they are constantly on Facebook and every single post on your wall is from them? Guess what? You have the option of “hiding” their posts! To do this, left click on the “X” next to their post and then you are given an option to hide that particular post, or “hide all”, which will remove the post and also prevent all future posts from that person. The third option is to hide all applications. For more applications you may have downloaded, go to this great post by Meredith Singer:

http://www.allfacebook.com/are-you-still-oversharing-through-old-applications-2010-12

If at some future point you want to re-enable your “friend’s” posts, click on the drop-down arrow next to “Most Recent” at the top of your News Feed, and then go to Edit Options. You can then choose who you want to “Show More” of and whose posts you want to “Hide.”

2)      Another common dilemma is:  If you use Facebook for business, how do you keep your clients from seeing personal photos that you post? Most of us have a mixture of friends, family, and sometimes clients or colleagues in our “friend” list. I first started using Facebook as a way to share photos of my children with their grandparents and other family members. It is a much more efficient method of sharing special moments in their lives without having to email everyone. Very quickly, my friend list has grown to include my coaching and other clients. Some people don’t care that all of their Facebook friends see everything they post, but I prefer to keep my professional and personal life separate, even though some of my colleagues may in fact also be friends. So what do you do?

The solution is to set up “groups” on Facebook so that your clients don’t see your personal photos. Then you load the photos only to that specific group. You cannot do this retroactively to photos that have already been posted, because the group must already have been created first.

When you load photos or post content exclusively to a certain group, you make people feel special because you did not share your post with everyone. When people feel distinct, they will more likely respond to your post with comments, or read your article, blog, or whatever it is that you have shared.

Now it’s your turn – do you have any tips to share? How about some little thing that you might do on Facebook that is not widely known?

Michele Scism  – I know you have one!

Parenting Predicaments

This is a little bit of a departure from my previous blog posts, but this is one I want to direct to all of the moms out there. What do you when your children disappoint you?

One of my “themes” (and coaching niches) is to help career-oriented women find time in their lives for their children and/or to have a family. That’s one reason I wrote my book Full-Time Woman, Part-Time Career. But my book was written when my oldest was still an infant.

I have asked around and one wise friend of mine said “That’s (the nature of) having kids!” Others told me, “Your children will build you up and then bring you down.”

Experience is the difference between a child’s fear (and emotions) versus an adult’s. Once you have gone through something, you know better how to handle it. Personal growth comes from learning, from successfully trying new things, and from stopping yourself from responding the way you “normally would” by thinking before you speak or act. In other words, stop before yelling at a child, and then handle the situation another way.

When teaching a class, you can’t disparage or be condescending to your students. In other words, you can’t call someone a bonehead just because they don’t know how to do a simple task on the computer like saving a file. But how come so many people treat their kids this way?

Part of being professional is knowing when to bite your tongue and hold back ugly words. Immature people say whatever they want to without considering the consequences or the effect their words will have on others. So how do you accomplish this when you are the parent?

How do you apply the concept of  “professionalism” to parenting? It may be more difficult to do because you are more emotionally invested in your kids.

How do you make sure your child learns from the experience and doesn’t repeat the same behavior the next time it happens? Is this even possible?

What is the balance between discipline, expressing your disappointment, vs. giving encouragement to try again next time?

What if the disappointment is more on your end than on theirs? How do you handle that?